Shwadchuck Norris

Oh cool.

2009-11-23T20:08:14Z

Oh cool, look who retroactively wrote the first Epsilon Minus album (artist name)

http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/epsilon-minus/id120894739

Somehow also wrote Pre-Initialized, an EP which featured Jennifer Parkin on exactly 0 tracks.

Draw your own conclusions about how such a thing occurs.

epsilonminus @ 2009-07-16T14:27:00

2009-07-16T18:29:36Z

by popular demand (kinda)

http://www.facebook.com/pages/SimRonan/117140451488?ref=nf

(i'd post it on simronan_v2 livejournal if i had any fucking clue what the password was. i'd also remove the simronan.com url since some dickhead camped it and put ads and the world's shittiest site on it)

Bogart Shwadchuck - Monroeville

2009-05-18T17:53:37Z

[FCM017] Bogart Shwadchuck - Monroeville

Two D&B tracks inspired by the second-best zombie flick ever made, one D&B track unrelated to the walking dead, and a remix from Statistic.

Available for free download now at fullcodemedia.com

epsilonminus @ 2009-04-09T09:48:00

2009-04-09T13:48:35Z

Chester Fantastico

2008-11-01T23:00:24Z

Chester Fantastico - The World's Greatest Boner now available for download.

Hope you like mothafuckin' Xylophones.

FCM014 - Bogart Shwadchuck - Sketchy Whitelabel Remixes Vol. 1

2008-09-29T00:14:57Z

FCM014 - Bogart Shwadchuck - Sketchy Whitelabel Remixes Vol. 1

Toronto producer Bogart Shwadchuck works his dirty business on three mystery acapellas. If you do a lot of hustling, are in search of the hood, or are thirsy for a drank, you will enjoy these sketchy whitelabel remixes. Hopefully, nobody will get sued.

Available now at Full Code Media

Chester Fantastico EP coming soon

2008-09-07T16:28:31Z

epsilonminus @ 2008-06-27T12:18:00

2008-06-27T16:18:36Z

i hope you like xylophones.

2008-06-19T20:27:00Z

SPACEBUTT

2008-01-04T22:50:09Z

R.I.P. Ike Turner

2007-12-13T20:05:34Z

This is in hella poor taste but I hella don't give a shit, it's also the best idea I had all day! Maybe even all week!

Slap Tina Turner flash game

(2 minute edit to the old Slap The Monkey flash game)

Posting it to dead livejournal because that's where shit like this belongs.

Bogart Shwadchuck - Bitch Go Buy Me A Hot Dog

2007-08-04T15:58:51Z

FCM012 - Bogart Shwadchuck - Bitch Go Buy Me A Hot Dog

This is a concept album. The concept is that I tell a bitch to go buy me a hot dog, and she does. While she is buying me a hot dog, I wait patiently, and do The Robot. I eat the hot dog and it is delicious.

Available now for free download at Full Code

[FCM010] Bogart Shwadchuck - Vent A+B

2007-03-16T02:19:54Z

epsilonminus @ 2007-01-24T15:38:00

2007-01-24T20:41:03Z

I am posting on a Livejournal, because people are still subscribed to it, and I have something to pimp.

http://www.fullcodemedia.com

Full Code Media has been revamped, and is still your #1 INTERNET DESTINATION for downloading free electronic music and failing to making donations in support of the artists! ACT NOW, DON'T DELAY!

Stop using Livejournal, dorks.

10 PRINT “SAIL AWAY” 20 GOTO 10

2006-09-30T16:07:11Z

Bogart Shwadchuck - 10 PRINT “SAIL AWAY” 20 GOTO 10
(a lo-fi techno tribute to Enya)

01 - Book Of Days
02 - Orinoco Flow
03 - Boadicea
04 - Caribbean Blue
05 - The Celts
06 - Storms In Africa
07 - Exile

So basically, the story behind this is that for a while, I’d been attempting semi-serious electronic Enya covers, but they never really went anywhere. Then, as a joke, I covered my absolutely least favourite Enya song Orinoco Flow as a gabber chiptune, and it actually came out pretty decent, so I did a bunch more in a similar style. They’re not all hardcoooooooore, but they are all pretty lo-fi and danced up.

Get it here: http://www.fullcodemedia.com/enya/10PRINTSAILAWAY20GOTO10.zip
(hosted at Full Code Media, but not an official FCM release for obvious reasons (ie: I would prefer to die having never been sued by a new age princess)

RMT.01-04.2006 clips fixed

2006-08-24T04:31:54Z

If you clicked the clips and got silence, it's because I'm too stupid to check files before uploading so as to discover that 24 bit wavs apparently cause trouble with my mp3 encoder.

They are fixed now. Peruse the hotness, please.

http://www.fullcodemedia.com/releases/FCM009.html

You download music yes ok.

2006-08-24T00:15:52Z

epsilonminus @ 2006-06-10T11:42:00

2006-06-10T15:41:45Z

Hello, bitches.

2006-03-19T04:34:00Z

Four moody, slow-burning ambient/electro tracks by Toronto producer Bogart Shwadchuck.
Available now for free download at Full Code Media.

Bogart Shwadchuck - AMB.ELC.01-04.2006 [FCM007]

epsilonminus @ 2005-07-25T22:52:00

2005-07-26T02:54:49Z

One last LJ post, I swear for real this time.

Here's the link you need to feed my non-LJ, moron-free blog into your LJ list (or newsreader) via RSS.

Props to the Wonko for setting that up. Thanks, buddy.

edit: You can comment on entries via the RSS feed, but I wouldn't recommend it unless you enjoy talking to yourself. Comments won't be sent to me, nor will I read them. Would sort of defeat the purpose of bloggin' outside of the LJ system, wouldn't it. It would.

Ok bye bye LJ.

epsilonminus @ 2005-07-24T15:29:00

2005-07-24T19:48:39Z

Last time I'm going to post in this thing, I just thought this demonstration of how to put your foot in your big fuckin' mouth might me valuable to some people.

Dear Bogart SHWADCHUCK,

We received your request for the free offer from secure.billygraham.org. In order to confirm your request, you must click this link:

*link removed*

If you do not confirm your request within one week, your request will not be fulfilled. Do not reply to this e-mail address. If you have questions, please forward this e-mail to webmaster@billygraham.org.

We will be processing all requests from the U.S. and Canada promptly once confirmation is received. (We are unable to send free offers to other countries.) If you do not hear from us within four to six weeks, please let us know by calling 1-877-2-GRAHAM (1-877-247-2426) or (704) 401-2432 in the U.S. or Canada, or e-mail info@bgea.org.

Didn't Request This?
This request was placed by IP#24.45.173.80. If you did not make this request, and do not wish to receive the materials mentioned, simply ignore this e-mail and the request will not be processed.

I'll be sure to pass this on when his ISP responds to the complaint I logged on Friday.

Lesson: do not fuck around on the internet.

epsilonminus @ 2005-07-16T13:31:00

2005-07-16T17:32:20Z

http://www.bogartshwadchuck.com/blog

epsilonminus @ 2005-07-15T22:34:00

2005-07-16T02:49:30Z

Fuck ALL this serious internetting, as a gesture of goodwill, I am throwing a party to clear the air. An INTERNET PARTY. Everyone's invited, behind the cut!

(LJ doesn't appear to want to let me embed a MIDI so just open this and groove while you party hard in this bitch.

epsilonminus @ 2005-07-15T20:44:00

2005-07-16T01:00:05Z

Oh how cute, I signed the guestbook in support of Carlos, phone number and address included.

Mature, Ben. You're what, in your mid thirties? And playing with people's email addresses? Phoning people and threatening violence? You represent your peers well. Reposting contact info from my portfolio site. Next there'll be pictures of my house, 'goon justice'!

I hate to even bring it up because lord knows it'll only encourage more filered subscription confirmation letters, but it's worth pointing out just how ridiculously a grown man can behave.

I'm sure this is all intended to make me angry, but I'm just incredulous at how pathetic it is.

edit: Mass friends list canning because people can't behave. Equal ground.

edit2: People, seriously, I don't want to read a bunch of stuff about the trauma of being unfriended. I'm glad people enjoy reading my garbage and I will continue to post it, I just won't play the Livejournal Social Network game. Every livejournally comment that treats this like the breakup of a close personal friendship makes me feel more and more greasy about the entire thing. Go about your business, my lack of locked posts will not change your life, nor will it change mine.

epsilonminus @ 2005-07-14T18:00:00

2005-07-14T22:01:46Z

Oh, for fuck's sake. Which one of you dickheads signed me up for a bunch of bullshit mailing lists? Way to lend credibility to your cause. Next there'll be dogshit in a burning paper bag on my porch.

For real, grow the fuck up.

edit: Also thank you to whoever's feeding locked posts to Hellraver to enable the 3 different love notes waiting in my inbox along with subscriptions to Astrology newsletters.

Vague threats of aggression, 30 year olds in drunken knife fights, revenge via spam subscriptions... how shocking it is that Industrial folks can't seem to behave like adults. This all serves me right for breaking my reasonably long streak of not giving a fuck about Industrial People and their goings-on. I'll think twice next time I consider acknowledging that world.